Today is a significant date for me and it always will be…

Anniversaries are carved into my heart and diary even though we’d never forget

Today, 16 August, is a very significant day for me. It is the anniversary of the day I learned that my 30-year-old brother had overdosed on a mixture of alcohol and street drugs because the system in the US had cancelled his mental health appointment yet again.

Josh, my youngest brother, was very smart—clever, as we say in the UK. He knew how to follow and make the most of the system, but in this case, they had messed up. He didn’t have the prescribed drugs that he needed, so he went searching for something else to smooth out his mood for his serious mental health issues.

No way would he have gone quietly into that good night

In our family, we all know it wasn’t suicide because he was an extremely dynamic and eloquent man, and no way would he have gone quietly in the night, as Dylan Thomas wrote. His final hurrah would have been supersized and LARGE, with a note that the whole town saw in the sky or all received on their computers—something pure Josh: shocking, naughty, clever, and deadly (pun intended).

Eating some sweet delights I do believe. He adored creme eggs – bleurgh!

So, on this anniversary of his passing, I wish for you to think of a sweet little boy who yearned excessively for candy and to watch all the films unsuitable for his age group. Full disclosure: I *may* have broken house rules here a couple of times (jeez, oldest sisters have to chill out sometimes too), but he never let on, and thank goodness he saw all those modern classics that he was a bit too young for, given how rudely short his time on this planet was.

We loved to cook together mostly sticking to over the top sweet concoctions

Speaking of classics... Josh and I loved to cook together—mostly sticking to over-the-top sweet concoctions like caramelised popcorn, double chocolate brownies you get the picture. But he did love Thai and Japanese food too. So this year, I want to remember him with food. This one’s for you, Josh. We miss you. Always.

Easy salmon miso traybake

Heat oven to 180°C

You will need:

• A big ovenproof pan with a lip

• A bunch of broccoli – purple sprouting or Chinese (chop the fat ends of the stems off)

• A bunch of asparagus (cut the fat ends of the stems off – tips are too delicate)

• A packet of fine green beans (either already cut or cut off the spindly bits yourself)

• A few spring onions, outer layers peeled off, then chopped into chunks

• A dash of toasted sesame oil

• A dash of chilli oil

• Trout or salmon fillets (to suit how many people you are feeding)

Put all the veg in a layer on the bottom of the dish, sprinkle oil over. Season with salt and pepper. If you have neither of these oils, just swish some good olive oil over the veg.

Next, get as many fillets of fish as people you want to feed. Tonight, I made this for me and my hubby. We used two trout fillets. I have made this with four salmon fillets.

Finally, you need to make the miso sauce to smother over your fish.

Mix:

• 1 heaped tablespoon miso

• 3 tablespoons Dijon mustard

• A squidge of crushed ginger from a tube, or peel and chop a nub

• 3 tablespoons mashed garlic (DIY or use from a pot)

• 2 teaspoons of brown sugar or a splash of maple syrup

• A dash of oil
  

  Whisk all together

Now place the fish on the layer of mixed veg, and smooth a healthy smudge of the miso mix on each piece of fish. Season the dish with salt and pepper. I always make sure I have some miso mix left and add an extra drizzle of oil to the mix after coating the fish so that I can serve that as a sauce when it’s done.

Now put in the preheated oven at 190°C for 30 minutes. Check whether the broccoli has crisped up. I like it really crispy–you may not, but there’s no harm in checking. Is the fish totally cooked? Depends on the length and depth of your fillets. I’d guess you probably need another 10 minutes for perfection.

Then... ta-da, a traybake. Serve with some flatbread, boiled potatoes, grains–whatever you want. Just remember to serve with the (hopefully leftover) miso sauce.

We never have leftovers when I make this, but if you do, it makes a lovely cold salad lunch too.

Important side note: I never had the chance to make this for Josh, but I am confident he would have loved it. As I made it last night, I was thinking about him, which inspired this blog post. Cooking always relaxes me, and it felt natural to share this on a day that holds such significance. For me, cooking is the ultimate calming activity– a perfect blend of creativity and concentration, which I believe is my version of meditation.

Please try this easy dish and let me know what you think. I’d love to hear your thoughts and share more recipes with you.